I feel like I’m losing you and there’s nothing I can do about it
I’ve cried until I can’t. I’m dehydrated, I’m stress sick, I’m nervous all the time. I need you back in my arms. I need you in my life again. I’ve messed up so badly, dug myself in this hole and I can’t climb out. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I want to ask for it so badly. “Listen to me, baby, it’ll all be okay,” I said, and when you said it to me I didn’t listen and it was not okay and it’s still not okay. I’ve not slept since last Thursday and not eaten since the day before yesterday. I’m smoking myself to death, I can’t breathe when I wake up.
I remember every kiss, I remember every touch, your perfume so strong and sweet in my senses. I wish you were still beside me on our couch, both of your hands wrapped around mine, holding me closer than anyone has and loving me more than anyone ever will. If you’ll have me after what I’ve done, I’ll listen to nothing but your tender words and soft moans. I’ll hold you tighter than my own skin, kiss you until we both have to ask for air, touch that endlessly perfect skin until it’s thrumming under my hands.
I can’t wait to see you, right now wouldn’t be quick enough.
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